Father’s Day Matters More Than We Admit

Every year Father's Day sneaks up on me.

Unlike Christmas, Halloween, Mother's Day, or Black Friday, there isn't a six-week marketing campaign reminding everyone that it's coming. There aren't endless commercials telling us what to buy. There aren't massive displays at every store demanding our attention.

And I think there's a reason for that.

The marketing machine hasn't fully gotten its hooks into Father's Day.

Partly because most fathers aren't asking for expensive gifts.

Most men don't want another tie.

They don't need another coffee mug that says "World's Best Dad."

Most fathers simply want something much more meaningful.

They want time, connection, and appreciation.

They want to hear a few sincere words from the people they love most.

That's much harder to sell.

The Most Important Job I've Ever Had

With a sense of gratitude (and luck) I've done a lot of things in my life.

I've traveled the world.

I've built businesses.

I've coached hundreds of men.

I've spoken in front of both large and small groups.

I've taken unnecessary risks and chased lofty adventures.

Becoming a father remains one of the most incredible, meaningful, and responsibility-filled experiences of my life.

There is nothing quite like looking into your child's eyes and realizing that you are helping shape a human being.

The weight of that responsibility is enormous.

The privilege is equally profound.

Fatherhood demands patience when you're exhausted.

My two beautiful boys sense any exhaustion and bounce on it.

They demand my leadership when I am uncertain and my strength when I feel weak.

This is often invisible work with my children being my biggest teachers.

They have taught me to protect them from my own worries.

The majority of the sacrifices go unnoticed and so a father just hopes that occasionally they are appreciated for some of those countless times we choose our family over ourselves.

And while we don’t do these things FOR the recognition, it does feel good to have a day where it is recognized.

Why I Tell My Family Father's Day Is Important

My family spoils me on Father's Day.

Because I told them one year how important it was for me.

Years ago, there was a Father's Day that was mostly ignored. Nothing dramatic happened. There wasn't a fight or an argument.

It just passed by and I felt disppointed.

Not because I wanted gifts and attention, but because I wanted the acknowledgment.

Being a dad is difficult and important work too.

I wanted my family to recognize the effort, love, and commitment I bring to fatherhood every single day.

So I spoke up.

I told them that Father's Day matters to me.

That being recognized for my work as a father matters to me.

Even if it's only one day a year.

And you know what?

They listened and completely understood.

Since then, my family does their best to spoil me.

Men Need Recognition Too

There is a common narrative that men don't need much.

That we're simple and stoic and don’t need appreciation.

Like everything, the truth is more nuanced.

Men may not ask for recognition or demand praise, but most men deeply appreciate being seen.

The masculine spirit often thrives on purpose, contribution, and service.

When those contributions are noticed, it fuels us.

It reminds us that our efforts matter.

It encourages us to keep showing up.

That's one of the reasons I make a point to contact friends on Father's Day.

A simple text, voice message or call saying “I see you brother. You are doing the work and your family is lucky to have you.”

You'd be surprised how meaningful those few words can be.

Why Mother's Day Gets More Attention

In my opinion, Mother's Day receives significantly more attention than Father's Day.

And I understand why.

There are certainly cultural reasons, but also economic reasons.

There is a much larger market of men buying gifts for women than there is of women buying gifts for men.

Businesses follow money.

If Mother's Day generates more spending, there will naturally be more advertising, more promotions, and more reminders.

It’s not criticism as much as a simple observation.

Living in a capitalistic consumer society, the lack of marketing around Father's Day can create an unintended consequence.

Many fathers end up feeling forgotten.

And so I want to call everyone out to remember to celebrate your father’s/husbands without the need of the marketing machine to remind us.

The Fathers We Rarely Talk About

I also think about the fathers who won't hear appreciation this year.

The divorced dads.

The dads whose children live far away.

The fathers navigating strained relationships.

The men who are trying their best but rarely hear acknowledgment.

The men who quietly wonder if they're doing enough.

The men who carry tremendous responsibility without much encouragement.

Fatherhood can be lonely.

Especially in a culture that often focuses on criticizing men more than encouraging them.

Many fathers are carrying burdens that nobody sees.

And a few words of recognition can go a long way.

I see you and I appreciate you!

My Dad Never Made a Big Deal About It

My dad is has been a great dad to me for the past 45 years.

Growing up, I honestly can't remember much about Father's Day before my parents divorced when I was 12.

My dad never made a big deal out of it before the divorce.

Like many men of his generation, he simply kept going.

He worked, provided, showed up, and didn’t ask for much.

But I've come to realize something.

Many men don't ask for recognition because they don't believe they'll receive it.

Yet they're still disappointed when nobody remembers.

The desire to be appreciated doesn't disappear simply because we stay quiet about it.

It just becomes hidden.

And hidden needs often become silent disappointments.

Appreciation Might Be the Most Underrated Gift

I've reached a conclusion over the years.

Fathers who regularly hear appreciation from their spouses and children live happier lives.

Maybe even longer lives.

Not because appreciation magically fixes everything.

But because feeling valued changes how a man experiences his life.

It reminds him that his sacrifices matter, even if they aren’t fully understood.

His efforts matter and he matters as a human.

Every man wants to know that what he's doing is making a difference.

Every father wants to know that his family sees him.

Not for his paycheck, but for who he is and all the hats he wears.

A father, protector, provider, guide, teacher, leader, listener, mentor, catch player, bandaid putter, cheerleader, and so much more.

At the end, he wants to be seen as a man doing his best.

This Father's Day, Say Something

If you're fortunate enough to still have your father, call him.

If you're raising children with a good man, tell him what you appreciate about him.

If you have friends who are fathers, send them a message.

Not because a greeting card company told you to or a commercial reminded you, but because recognition matters.

The world asks a lot of fathers.

Sometimes all we really want is to hear is, “I see you, I appreciate you. Thank you.”

I read somewhere that a simply “thank you” creates the same emotion in a man as “I love you,” creates in a woman.

Father's Day and the Modern Man

Perhaps Father's Day isn't supposed to be the biggest commercial holiday on the calendar.

Perhaps its quietness reflects something important.

The best fathers aren't looking for attention.

They're not demanding applause.

They're simply showing up day after day, year after year, doing the work that needs to be done.

But even the strongest men need encouragement.

Even the most capable fathers need appreciation.

Even the men who never ask for recognition deserve it.

So this Father's Day, let's remember the fathers.

Not because advertisers told us to.

But because the men raising families, leading households, and shaping future generations deserve to be seen.

At least once a year.

And ideally, much more often than that.